I really want to be done with my second sperm donor. He is a complete child and low life. I am really trying my best to be nice and decent, but that's not possible for him. All he cares about is drinking, spending time with his friends, and the kid and I are not on the list. He picks me and the kids up and take us to McDonald's. Acts like he deserves a medal. Chokes the food down and barely lets the kids play. What an ass. Go and gets his case of beer. Let me know he's been drinking a case a night this week. Just think of the baby stuff that would of bought. In seven months, he's gotten two or three suits for $2.50, some socks, shoes, hmmm that's it. I even found a bassenette someone was selling on the side of the road. Of course, the beer was more important. He said, I got a crib. What do you need one for? Seriously?? I'll just get one.
Went out to his house. No hugs, gentle words, love....you know the things that come natural to a couple about to have a baby. There is no love there. All I can do is cry over how stupid I am. He asks me why I am crying...he doesn't really care why does he asks. Then to top it off his father owe me $100. He never speaks to me, but came outside to let me know it will be one day next week before he can pay me. Yeah I'll hold my breath. I didn't make him wait when he got my money. I borrowed money this week thinking I would get it this weekend. Now if I did that it would be a big mess, but those crooks are used to stabbing me in the back. Nothing new for them. If he gives Charles the money to pay me he will just spend it and say he owes me.
If he would honestly leave me the fuck alone, I would leave him alone. Work out some custody deal and be done with the whole fucking thing. I hate him. He doesn't get it. I know he would come hurt me if I truly told him to fuck off and leave me alone. I just had to get knocked up by the bastard. I'm really stupid and a coward for dealing with this so long. I think I actually hate him worse than the goat. I want him out of my life. Completely! This will never happen. I'll never escape him. Just makes me want to do really stupid things just to get away from it all. Get pushed much more and I am really done.
Usually, spend the whole day with him, but two hours and he takes us home to go get drunk at a poker party down the street. If I was evil I would turn him in for drunk driving. He doesn't have a license and he has old fines. He would spend months in the jail if I did. I am so tempted. No kiss, just an I love you when he leaves. It's a lie. When I say it back just to keep the peace IT IS A LIE. I want my life back. :-(
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