Old Fart Olympics

Seems lately that I am starting to settled into my "Old Fart" stage of life. I am almost out of my thirties. I am gaining the Madea pack my 9mm stage, and my give a damn no longer gives a flying f*ck. So there. I think it will be a nice stage for me. Not sure many other people will appreciate it, but as always I'm not on Earth to make their day ;-)

So the latest is that we are suppose to move into our apartment sometimes this week/weekend. I was hoping to be settled by the first day of school. Who knows I might be. I have different feeling about this, but it's for the best. We need our own space and I need my own sanctuary. It been so long since I've had that. A peaceful one at that, and I'll fight for it I believe. It's only going to be a stepping stone. My son has been talking about moving to Meridian. Depends on where I can find a job. I got to get another car as well. I have to live for them while including my own happiness. No need to spend it unhappy and grow old and bitter. I have seen that come to life in my own Mother.

Open house for school is this Thursday. Gia managed to get the same teacher cause she moved on up to Kindergarten. Some wise guy decided it was a good idea that the kids no longer take naps. Wow, can't wait to how this works out. She's been sick like me and has been asleep since 1pm. We all have the crude. I believe it to be said that the summer crude is much worse than the winter crude. So, Thursday we will meet the teachers and see their rooms. It's a lot more peaceful this time around. There is no Joe/Charlie drama. Joe is on the road, and Charlie has chilled out a lot. I will actually get to walk in a take my time, and take some pics. ;-)
It's gonna be hard for them to get back on a schedule, guess I'll start that tonight.

Monday will be Gia's first time to ride the big girl bus with her brother. I know she will be so happy to do that. I guess while they are in school I'll be working on the house. I swear I am going to have to start from scratch, but good thing with that I can make my home my own. All my own taste and how I like it. Just let someone try to move in . HAHAHAHAHAH I don't think so baby.

Maybe once we are all settled in I'll get some creative flows going. I have tons of stories stuck up in my head ready to burst out. I really don't think I'll take my laptop down there, but there always the handy old notebook. Work it out there, then transfer. I would love to do that full time, but looks like I'm gonna have to find something else quick. I can't always rely on others, and enough time has gone by that it's MY time now. I can't wait to see where it takes me.

So a story just popped in my head of a young white girl taking a job in a blues club down in Old New Orleans and she falls for a popular blues player married to the owner. ......Guess I'll get started on that one next. Time to start birthing these people to the creative world!

Be Blessed!

Nighty Night! (@ Lewis Lane) [pic]: http://4sq.com/Mvyoea

I Get It Now

For years I have tried to fix something that fell apart as a child. Something that was not my fault. My relationship with my Mother. We love each other but now in my adult life we no longer need each other. I don't need her in my space. You can't fly like that no matter who it is.

I have been here for years out of a have too. I am now being blessed with my own place. Rent free. This will be the platform for my evolution. This will be where I will find myself again. A rebirth so to speak.

A place where I am finally the only Mama and my ever move will not be judged. You ever notice that that the ones that judge you the most has done the worst jobs themselves? What makes them so perfect now. Well nothing of course. I am going to have to leave my past behind. Lock some of the memories away so I can proceed.

This is only the beginning!

Silver Lining?

Not sure why I seem to have a hard time getting through life. This used to be quite easy, although that was before three kids. Simply not their fault, it's mine off course. It's not mine that they are my 24/7 job, but I could do better. Not sure I could here, but I have to manage for now.

At least we will be moving into our own place in a few weeks. A country ghetto, with hopefully not much drama. I plan to stay to myself and keep myself busy. I am also hoping to get blessed with employment. Not holding my breath. At least this is a start.

With all this going on I am having to deal with almost unbearable pain. I know my mother is used to hearing me bitch about this or that, but this is different. It's constant never ending pain. Almost throughout my entire body. I am hoping dieting and exercising will cure me. It's my head I think. Who knows?

My give a damn is also mostly broken. There are a lot of people who helped with that. From my parents, to family, to "love" ones. I have come to understand that you are only a part of someone's world when they decide. You have to make your own world, and include only those that make you happy. Not those that sure you purpose. Those will only fulfill your madness for a short while. Then you will be hungry for more, a more that they can not provide.

***I will be creating a whole complete new series online*** Attendance and comments will be mandatory. lol. I have to laugh at myself sometimes. I have yet to get a comment here. Maybe I'll begin another blog and ghost write? To enjoy the writing without the worry of will I ever get famous or rich. Just enjoy the release of the thoughts in my mind. Hmm, seems like a better solution.

So, a few things have been happening lately. I'll post pictures and videos using my new mobile. About time I post from there. Seems like it would be much easier. For now there is rice burning in the kitchen and kids to feed. Hopefully, if there is a Great Spirit in the Sky  and if he loves me he'll get them to sleepy before ten.

Summer's End

Summer is slowly closing down and so many things have changed. Of course the kids both grew their usual foot during summer, but plenty of things on the home front has changed.

First being is that I am single. At least according to myself. I recently found out that donor #2 was seeing the same chick that he messed around with while I was pregnant. So, that's a done deal.

On a happier note, my older two kids got to spend a whole week with their father. He drives over the road, so he only comes home like once a month. He took them to the Choctaw Indian fair here in Neshoba, and they had a blast. Bought them tons of fair foods, rode rides, and even won a few prizes. I have to admit it really made me sad that I couldn't do something like that for them, but hopefully my time is coming.

Here are a couple of recent pics:

Having fun while Bubba and Sissy were gone. 

My nephew William's fifth birthday party. 

Annalissa

Wanting to grow up way too fast. She is so smart. 

Anna's Aura

Words to live by:-)

Wonder if he knows you don't wear blue underwear with white shorts. lol

Another shot of Gia and William

At our small holiday. 

Smurf he won at the fair. 

My little cornfed baby. :-)

My niece Haley and Gia

Now that summer is coming to an end, we are getting school supplies and clothes. Their Dad have gotten most of it. There is still ton to get. I was hoping to be in the apartment by now, but it just hasn't worked out just yet.

Tomorrow, we will have Dylan's 8th birthday party. I tell you, when you have kids, you have to enjoy every single second. It goes by too damn fast for my taste. He is getting a Sonic MP3 player, the Spore game, and tons of PS2 that we are still waiting to come in. He is old enough now that he can go to the bakery and order he own cake. I hope it will be a happy day. We need a few of those. God willing I'll get to take them to the Neshoba fair, but their needs will come first. 

If you are reading this, and if you pray.....please pray I find another job...asap!

Blessings!

Anna coloring

Is she not the cutest carrot  top you have seen?

Summer So Far

I haven't really been a busy little blogger. Been really a hot and boring summer, but that's kinda the point right?

The kids attended there Mamaw Divine's church's Vacation Bible School. I don't remember the name of the church but it was in Little Rock, MS. Here are the pics.

Gia (in pink) get her award. 

My son Dylan and his cousin Haley

Dylan and Haley in the purple shirt. 

Me holding Anna, Gia, Dylan, Aunt Heather, and her daughter Haley. 

It's always better with ICE CREAM!!

We are in the process of packing and getting ready to move down the street to a new apartment. Just saving up for the hellacious light bill deposit. They should be ashamed! Oh well, it gives me time to get everything in order. I won't discuss the problem here, but a few things will improve there. I will probably be more lonely at time, and I will only have net on my phone. Gonna try to save some serious money. Get back to the real world of working, and get back on my feet.

I am not too fond of the place we are moving too, but it will be rent free for me since my income has currently went in the toliet. It's really sucky here. I am seriously thinking about going back to college and finish my AA degree and finally get a grown up job. Hmm, but what shall I ever be? I tell ya, I was putting in for a job at the local Walmart to take picture of kids. They threw a serious math test at me online, with these three kids trying to kill each other and screaming...kinda like now...there is no hope of looking like you have any bit of education. 

Enough depression, so Saturday my bbf and I went out to Mexican in Philly, and then we watch "MAGIC MIKE". Hmm, the dancing and eye candy was good, but the plot...lordy me. I was bored to tears. It was a horrible plot, horrible filming, and terrible acting. It really reminded me of "Coyote Ugly". Not in a good way, but it also got better when the guys hit the stage. It tickled me to see all these older ladies laughing at the sexy parts and rocking hard in their chair. Not sure if it was of embarrassment like my bbf, or they just couldn't hold their happy in. lol. 

On the home front, donor#2 and I have just come to an agreement to love and not judge. Not to control, but be helpful. No marriage, no living together, each live our own lives. For us it works. We get our space, our free time, and the time we do spend together is really meaningful. No it's not the secret to a happy relationship, but it just works for us. 

So, we are not in July. Dylan will be 8 soon. Where did the time go? We will be going tomorrow night I think to the hotel and let the kids swim, going to the resort to see the fireworks, then we have my sister's son's fifth birthday Wednesday. If you pray, pray for us that our lives improve. It never comes easy, but when it gets here it will be good. 

Coming Soon!....I'll be putting my photography on here for sale and show. Way more videos once I have a minute or two to post them. Blog videos of me are coming, and much more. Stay tuned and BE BLESSED!!!!