Silver Lining?

Not sure why I seem to have a hard time getting through life. This used to be quite easy, although that was before three kids. Simply not their fault, it's mine off course. It's not mine that they are my 24/7 job, but I could do better. Not sure I could here, but I have to manage for now.

At least we will be moving into our own place in a few weeks. A country ghetto, with hopefully not much drama. I plan to stay to myself and keep myself busy. I am also hoping to get blessed with employment. Not holding my breath. At least this is a start.

With all this going on I am having to deal with almost unbearable pain. I know my mother is used to hearing me bitch about this or that, but this is different. It's constant never ending pain. Almost throughout my entire body. I am hoping dieting and exercising will cure me. It's my head I think. Who knows?

My give a damn is also mostly broken. There are a lot of people who helped with that. From my parents, to family, to "love" ones. I have come to understand that you are only a part of someone's world when they decide. You have to make your own world, and include only those that make you happy. Not those that sure you purpose. Those will only fulfill your madness for a short while. Then you will be hungry for more, a more that they can not provide.

***I will be creating a whole complete new series online*** Attendance and comments will be mandatory. lol. I have to laugh at myself sometimes. I have yet to get a comment here. Maybe I'll begin another blog and ghost write? To enjoy the writing without the worry of will I ever get famous or rich. Just enjoy the release of the thoughts in my mind. Hmm, seems like a better solution.

So, a few things have been happening lately. I'll post pictures and videos using my new mobile. About time I post from there. Seems like it would be much easier. For now there is rice burning in the kitchen and kids to feed. Hopefully, if there is a Great Spirit in the Sky  and if he loves me he'll get them to sleepy before ten.