Monday

Last night was just plain hell. I don't know what happens at the ex's house, but my God were the kids on one. I planned to put them in bed at eight and Gia refused to stay in the bedroom with me, then Dylan is up. Running around and playing. If I was about to pop another out these kids would of been in for it, but I'm so damn tired I can barely move. This is when I miss a father in the home. I need a break and they are only back for a day. My mom doesn't seen her precious Gia to bed, tells me to go to sleep and she can sleep with her. Great. I finally go to sleep and about 11pm, here comes Gia still wired. I'm think my god from what?

Ok. This time I can not blame the ex all together. I bought them some Jelly Bellies. There cousin comes over with suckers. WTF was I thinking. She gets leg cramps and screams, I finally calm her down and silence comes over the room. I wake up at 5am with a pounding headache. I would love to just get up and get some coffee, but I find my chain smoking mom in the kitchen and it looks like a bar. God do I wish I had my own apartment. I'm starting to think about Meridian again...jesus just somewhere else.

I get the boy off to school, and I try to stay awake, but that's just not happening. Luckily, Gia is still passed out and I get a few more hours. I dream about radiation and nuclear meltdowns. I'm some kind of person working for the government trying to get my kids and this dark hair guy and his kid out of the city before hell breaks loose. Thanks CNN. I got to turn the tube off.

This morning hasn't been all that bad. Although I'm not getting much done. lol. Right now if I laid down I wouldn't be up til tonight. This kid is just sucking the life out of me, and believe me it will get worse. I just can't wait to see how the father really helps me. I think I've decided not to get my tubes tied. Just behave myself and get on the pill. I think about a week out there will be all I can take. I can't wait for her to be old enough to go to daycare, get Gia in preschool, and Dylan in school so I can return to work. Save money and move the hell away from this want to be Mayberry.

Any suggestions??