It's Tuesday, and I'm keeping my oldest nephew Trey. He probably just doesn't want to go to school. So, he'll have school here at the house. Not playing hookey on my watch. Gia's face still looks rough. I'll have to take her to the doctor if I can get her to let me put meds on it.
Dylan managed to get his first paddling at school. He jumped the fence to escape and got three licks. Not sure what to thing. He has the nerve. Just will have to keep a watch on him.
I have been in a horrible mood all week. Everyone thinks I am pregnant, which is possible, but I kinda hope I'm not. I am thinking about staying single the rest of my life. Nothing good has come out of a relationship so far but the kids. If I am I will have to pay for it, he won't. He owns a lot already on one kids and does nothing for the other. He's not responsible at all and really I care about him as a friend but he doesn't nothing else for me. I can live without him. I will be ok.
I am in a horrible place right now. Very unbalanced and unstable. Very angry with myself for doing all that work, and doing nothing with it. I need to get my life together. Stop letting the past hold me down and choke me. I let negative forces hold me down. I make excuses in their honor. It is all up to me. My children should be my motivation, and how it felt to have nothing when I grew up. No opportunites and it really hurt me to have parents who where just donors and not supportive. I need to make a different way for my kids. I need to move to a better place with more opportunities. Let all the rest go.
More Later.
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