Still Here

It’s been really busy around here and I haven’t been online much. With my stepfather’s injury and two birthdays this week…it’s a little crazy.

Donor#2 has basically ignored me and we “broke up”, but of course on my child’s fifth birthday today he wants to go to his house and cook hamburgers. I was planning her party for tomorrow, and agreed…but now I just don’t want to go and deal with his crap. I think I will just to make sure it’s final..but he asks who I am with and makes threats. Such a jerk. I really picked a man worse than my ex husband. What I idiot I can be sometimes. 

Anna with home with him yesterday and I got a little sleep. Hard to sleep when you can’t get your situation to leave your brain for more than five minutes. I think the only thing that will heal this wound is time and space. A whole lot of space, but hell I can’t make it here, but here there are no jobs so that’s really the reason. I would like nothing more to just be in a place where the donors would have to board planes to get to us. That might be selfish, but not really. 

So my oldest daughter is five today. We are having her party tomorrow because she always shares her birthday with my brother. She wanted a Justin Beiber cake so I order one for her. Her Aunt came but and gave her gift of a purse filled with makeup and it has not left her side for one second. I really hate they will not be here tomorrow, but at least she offered to have her another party at her house when she gets back from her trip. 

Anna’s birthday is Wednesday and I am going to have her a party that weekend or Monday as well. I have to arrange things by the schedule of my money. That sucks. I also have to arrange things around Anna’s crazy ass father. Like today he knows it’s Gia’s birthday and he don’t know if I have something planned, he just wants to take over the whole day. I seriously hate him, and I don’t know why I let him bully me. That crap has got to stop. 

I have yet to get Anna a present but I will. 

Well I better get ready. Here comes a hellish day…I just know it. Why oh Why? 

BE BLESSED!