Summer So Far

I haven't really been a busy little blogger. Been really a hot and boring summer, but that's kinda the point right?

The kids attended there Mamaw Divine's church's Vacation Bible School. I don't remember the name of the church but it was in Little Rock, MS. Here are the pics.

Gia (in pink) get her award. 

My son Dylan and his cousin Haley

Dylan and Haley in the purple shirt. 

Me holding Anna, Gia, Dylan, Aunt Heather, and her daughter Haley. 

It's always better with ICE CREAM!!

We are in the process of packing and getting ready to move down the street to a new apartment. Just saving up for the hellacious light bill deposit. They should be ashamed! Oh well, it gives me time to get everything in order. I won't discuss the problem here, but a few things will improve there. I will probably be more lonely at time, and I will only have net on my phone. Gonna try to save some serious money. Get back to the real world of working, and get back on my feet.

I am not too fond of the place we are moving too, but it will be rent free for me since my income has currently went in the toliet. It's really sucky here. I am seriously thinking about going back to college and finish my AA degree and finally get a grown up job. Hmm, but what shall I ever be? I tell ya, I was putting in for a job at the local Walmart to take picture of kids. They threw a serious math test at me online, with these three kids trying to kill each other and screaming...kinda like now...there is no hope of looking like you have any bit of education. 

Enough depression, so Saturday my bbf and I went out to Mexican in Philly, and then we watch "MAGIC MIKE". Hmm, the dancing and eye candy was good, but the plot...lordy me. I was bored to tears. It was a horrible plot, horrible filming, and terrible acting. It really reminded me of "Coyote Ugly". Not in a good way, but it also got better when the guys hit the stage. It tickled me to see all these older ladies laughing at the sexy parts and rocking hard in their chair. Not sure if it was of embarrassment like my bbf, or they just couldn't hold their happy in. lol. 

On the home front, donor#2 and I have just come to an agreement to love and not judge. Not to control, but be helpful. No marriage, no living together, each live our own lives. For us it works. We get our space, our free time, and the time we do spend together is really meaningful. No it's not the secret to a happy relationship, but it just works for us. 

So, we are not in July. Dylan will be 8 soon. Where did the time go? We will be going tomorrow night I think to the hotel and let the kids swim, going to the resort to see the fireworks, then we have my sister's son's fifth birthday Wednesday. If you pray, pray for us that our lives improve. It never comes easy, but when it gets here it will be good. 

Coming Soon!....I'll be putting my photography on here for sale and show. Way more videos once I have a minute or two to post them. Blog videos of me are coming, and much more. Stay tuned and BE BLESSED!!!!

Being Single Sucks Sometimes

Honestly after five years I shouldn’t have to label myself as single, but I do. It’s always going to be that way. I just got to accept that it’s never going to any other level. Really do I want it to? I imagine my life, my home, and personal space MAN free. Right now it is. If we need each other we know where to find each other. There is something I can not stand about him…he’s a stupid white liar. A white liar can be sneaky if they were trying to be sneaky, but this fool lies about the most stupid of things to keep me calm. Has he not learned that if you just let me get mad, I’ll get over it, but damn why should I have to get over anything. 

Sometimes men mean well, but they don’t think past the point. Deep down they know we are going to get pissed, but they pray to their God we don’t. We still do. Ok. I get lonely that’s normal, but I don’t need someone to fill that void in my life full time. I really never have. So, I’m going to let go of the hope that he’ll one day grow up and be normal, because he has reached his full brain growth. One just has to admit it, and move on with MY life and journey. I know what I have to do, well mostly, and I certainly do not live a normal life. We strive for that you know. What we think normal is. Well I know it’s not going to be perfect. It’s going to be hard, expensive, and busy. I just have to to remind myself that it’s not about anything on this earth. I am here because God choose me to raise them. My spirit has to be fed too. I think sometimes people forget that. No matter what you worship, if you do not feed that purpose then how do you expect for it to grow?I do tend to be my own worse enemy. I will see the perfect job online and then come up with about ten excuses why I can do it, get there, or work out a schedule. That is even before I fill out the application. Come on, where did my balls go? They used to be so big and cocky, and now they are looking more like a box of raisins! Don’t I want a new opportunity, my own money, my own house? Do I really think that someone is gonna come save me? Well hell no of course not! I have to put my big girl panties on and my bullcrap combat boots and work for it! No matter what, my old  aussie friend used to tell me. Don’t let anyone tell me, make me, or have me think differently. I know one thing, and it’s for certain….not a damn thing is going to happen in this tiny town. It’s not gonna happen without a degree. I am in a way better place now to finish school. I have to talk to someone about helping me get back in there. I want to finish and make myself and my kids proud of me. I want my car back, fixed. I want my own place, my own neighborhood, my own church, new friends, to travel. To hell with people that will stand in my way. The path is clear because I SAY SO. Be Blessed!

New Blog Post

Hello there! I have updated the last few blogs. Why not go check them out. I also have some new stuff in the store. I hope to have more real soon! I am also going to make more time for writing, but until then get to click on Southern Mommy and see what's been going on!