Welcome to October

Not really feeling too great. I am having a lot of trouble with my stomach. I think I am sure what is going on, and if so it will be bittersweet. It will change everything, but it always does. Kids are home now and they told me about their weekend. We are settling into our usual Sunday night. Dylan is playing Lego Batman and Gia has stripped down and waiting on their cousin Haley to come over for a couple of hours.

This weekend I didn't really do a whole lot. Charles, Brandon, and I went to the Indian store in Philadelphia. I wish I could remember the name of it. It was my kinda of store. All this time I have been searching for a connection and I think I have it. It has all kind of herbs, sages, feathers.....man if only I had more money. The only thing that kinda freak me out were the real horse tails with some skin still attached. I think Brandon was ready to go when he saw that.

When we were checking out, Charles took a $70 axe off the wall, and when he went to put it back it fell to the floor and broke into three pieces. You should of hear the poor owner when it hit the floor, but she told us not to worry about it. I really would like to go back alone next time I think. :-)

This week I am really hoping to get some fall cleaning done. I have been in a lot of pain and really don't feel like moving around. My sister is right, since I can afford to see the doctor, then why don't I. Well one reason is if you are overweight they ignore your symptoms and tell you to lose weight. I am in constant pain. When I got to sleep I hurt, I wake up I hurt. Who wants to move when that's happening. I discovered that Aleeve is helping and yeah I have the knots, and the headaches. I really need to take better care of myself. If nothing else I should do it for my kids. They are my future. 

One more issue I am having is with negative people. For some reason I believe myself to be the patron saint of lost causes. You can not change a person. They have to want to change, but if it's working for them and giving them some kind of power why should I worry about it. It really hurts when they are really close to you and you feel that this problem doesn't make you as close as you should be. You can only worry about yourself sometimes, and try not to let people bring you down. 

Update on losing weight. I barely eat meat now. You really have to take it day by day. I eat mostly raw foods. This has cause a change in my stomach. It hurts nearly all the time now. I don't know if I have an ulcer or what, but I need to find out. I can only eat a little bit and I still feel very bloated and like I want to get sick. It takes forever for the bloating to go down. Even drinking a little bit of water and my stomach swells. Well see. I am very sure that I am losing weight, and if I can manage my pain I will feel better and walk more. More Later.