I have been big my whole life. It's something now that I am having to deal with as an adult. Only now that I am an adult is it almost too much to take. I am usually the one laughing, joking, or making jokes, but if you knew how much pain I was in....wow. Of course I don't want anyone having pity on me. I am sure that there are ways that I could lose the weight. Believe me I have tried them all, but I think there is a little more going on with my pain.
I have this thing where if I am touched the spot feels like I have been burned with water. Water burns to me are the worst and the only way to describe it. For ten minutes or more that spot hurts. So having kids jump on me feels like fire pokers. I would love to go to the doctor and have him say "ah yes you have this and this is how we will fix it" ...but oh no if you go with a stumped toe it's because you are too fat. Trust me I have had that happen to me. I stumped my toe because I was too "fat" to see my path. Whatever.
Trust me I don't stay fat for the comfort. It is a daily hell. The problem is I nearly die walking to the backyard in back. How would I ever manage walking for more than that. My knees are shot. Imagine all my weight and the only things holding me up are my knees. I feel sorry for them. I don't sit on my butt to be lazy, my body is just tired of caring for me. Being fat also hurts your inside. I know my heart, liver, etc are working was too hard to keep me going. That is why I feel so tired. I have the body of a 80yr and I'm not even forty.
So bitching really doesn't help. I have changed my diet. Try to walk more, but this being tired and in pain is so horrible. I am certainly missing out on life. I plan my life around my weight. There should never be anything in the way of life. So all I can do is push forward. Probably file for some help, and get the help from a doctor. If nothing else for the pain so I can concentrate on other things. More later:
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