What Matters Most

My precious babies and their happiness. I will have to find some sort of balance. The road now must be chosen at the crossroad I have been standing. I must make the life for them that they truly deserve. I am not really sure what to do first, but I think I have found the place. I just want them to be happy, but I deserve some happiness in this life as well. They are so young right now, and I could still get to a new location and make things go right again. I miss the days of working while they are in school, and coming home and having family time. It was when I was the happiest. I must find courage to be alone, or to love again. I must learn not to totally shut my heart up because certain persons have broken my heart in the past. My sweet children mean the world to me and it’s about time that I act like it. We all deserve the best in life. I truly  hope I can do this all alone.

In happier news, my garden is doing alright. I let it go for a while and it got really jungle like out there. lol. Here is one of my beautiful sunflowers. I still amazes me how you can buy seeds from the store and with love get beautiful creations from God. What I love the most about gardening is that even though they are all sunflowers, God makes each one special. Whether it be in the colors or shades each one is unique.

 

Here is my St. Francis statue in the middle of the garden. I did plant some flowers behind it, but they have failed to grow. I noticed anything around the sunflowers failed to grow properly. Not sure why. Even the gourds are very slow growing. I really wanted to do a real garden with no chemicals, but next time I am going to try a little.

Here’s another pic of me with the sunflower. I also planted a hummingbird garden for my late grandmother, but I noticed that it was mainly going to be wildflowers and that attracted bugs that ate most of my potted plants leaves away. Again I need to use a certain chemical.

My brother came to visit me and the neighbor’s pet fox also stopped by. The little devil scratched his arm pretty good, but it was friendly. I didn’t hold him but I took a pic as well. It’s amazing to see a wild creature like that sord of be friendly with humans but I’ve seen that thing chase down our kittens, and I believe that’s what happened to all of them.

Foxes are really beautiful creatures. I would love to have a job with animals. I’ve always wanted that. Might be something I check into. I would hate to work at a kill shelter though. That would break my heart. I am more in wilder animals. Maybe a zoo? Haha getting a little old for dreams I think, but you truly become old when you stop living and dreaming.

I close tonight with this recent picture of me. I have always been big, but in the last year with all my troubles I have seriously packed on too much weight. I used food as a drug and it’s time I come clean. I was walking everyday and using the pool, but I let stupid reasons stop me from taking care of my health. Along with changing my life, I will change my body. I am getting older and the longer I wait the harder it will be. If I could just get down into the 200’s I would be very happy. Well God bless you for stopping by, leave a comment if you like. More later. Be Blessed!